Ezra and Hannah, our hosts and Thailand's permanent Word Made Flesh (WMF) staff, are really Tim and Amy. In a moment of hyper-caution, I gave them aliases, not realizing it would take only the smallest amount of investigation on the Word Made Flesh site to assertain their real names. Still, I thought it prudent to get their permission, which they gave, before sending them to the world wide interweb.
I wrote the following several days ago after visiting a too-nice espresso shop closer to downtown:
He was from Miami. A pressed, Hawaiian shirt, untucked. Stylish, square, black-framed glasses. He was oldish, the other side of fifty, and spoke in loud, embarassing billows to his Asian date. A divorced traveller, he was out on a dysfunctional journey for youth. I saw myself at fifty five, caught in a chronic land rush where the lot could always be better and I never find a home. Hell. And then I can't read my Luther anymore.
Left in a hurry and walked back home. Listened to Seven Swans the whole way and Bangkok, in its shame, was filled with pathetic beauty. Sufjan is like the Patmos exile he loosely quotes, pulling holy mysteries from between the air. They are there in nature and in Word for any Christian prospector.
My Thai is improving in very small increments. I can now confidently ask a street vendor how to say "pineapple" and then politely ask for one portion of it. I did exactly this, but promptly forgot the word for "pineapple" upon paying. It is interesting to note that, despite our primary mission to the poor, some of our first relationships, out of practicality, have been made with the local food vendors with whome we have daily relationships. Bethany and I both have a respective "coffee guy/girl" who begin making our standard order as they see us walk up.
We taught for a second week at both the university Christian club on Wednesday and at the Khlong Toei kids center on Saturday. We were more well-prepared for both and, consequently, they both went better than before. The students know more English than we first thought, so the challenge now is making lessons more difficult, but still useful. One of the Khlong Toei kids--I'll call him Jacob--did cause quite a bit of trouble yesterday, managing to disrupt the older class, leave, and begin disrupting the younger class as well.
I admitted my anxiety to Tim about the street ministry that we will begin on September 14, given my limited Thai. Tim wanted to encourage me with a story from his short time at the Home for the Dying in Kolkata, which Mother Theresa opened in 1952. While there, Tim primarily worked with a old man who was blind and spoke only Bengali. Tim was drawn to the man by the humorous "yip!" he would shout at the other patients in an effort to get them to stop moaning.
Tim, who spoke almost no Bengali, would help the man stretch every day, conversing with him in English wile he replied in Bengali. Perceivably, no useful communciation resulted. Tim would tell the man when he was leaving every day and this the man understood, replying that he would see Tim tomorrow.
On Tim's final day, following their routine of stretching and confused dialogue, Tim said he was leaving. The man replied that he would see Tim the next day. Tim tried, and finally succeeded, in communicating the fact that it was his last day in India and that the man would not see him tomorrow. Tears crept out of the man's useless eyes. He laid down, rolled his back toward Tim and motioned with his hand for Tim to go.
Heartbreaking as it is, Tim's experience illustrates that relationship is not dependent upon verbosity, but rather presence. In spite of all their lost words, the man and Tim formed a true relationship that affected them both. Inasmuch as I am a temple of the Holy Spirit, the risen Christ can likwise build relationships with those I meet on the street, linguistic deficiencies notwithstanding.
We are reading a book called Companion to the Poor, by Viv Grigg. I'm a cheapo, so I bought a used copy online. In it, someone scrawled this: "It's not that hard. All you have to do is be willing to go, and the Spirit of God will move the people." Lord, move my feet, let them become Christ's feet, so that even the going will be yours.
Prayer Requests:
--Two people whose names and situations I cannot divulge. They both need a lot of prayer though.
--Pray for Jacob. It is true that he becomes a distraction for the other students who want to learn English, and must be removed when he does, but I suspect he has felt love by neither Creator nor created. I want him to leave, but I also desperately want him to stay. Pray for wisdom and his soul.
--Continue to pray for Thai lessons. I feel like I am falling behind and it's very important that I both learn the language and have the confidence to use it more.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Week 1 - Discovery sans Voyeurism
I have been in Bangkok nearly a week. Last Saturday was Boston to Chicago to Tokyo to Bangkok. Immediately off the plane, we were welcomed by our hosts Ezra and Hannah (not their actual names). They have been in Bangkok for several months now. The accomodations are simple and spacious. As the lone single male, I was given my own space on the third floor landing along with my own restroom. My floor mates, Jeff and Emily, are married and the other two servant team members, Melanie and Bethany, stay on the floor below.
The primary purpose to this past week has been discovery. Indeed, discovery of discovery, inasmuch as that is the phase in which Ezra and Hannah find themselves. They are searching for unique places God can use them. There are many parachurch organizations in Bangkok, but the needs here are legion and the ground is rocky. God has led our hosts to the red light districts, ministering among the bar girls and particularly to the families of immigrant beggers whose children are considered at risk to become entangled in the rampant prostitution industry. Ezra and Hannah have also been partnering with local churches in other areas of outreach.
As we learn about our hosts' ministry opportunities, we also have been immersed in studying the Thai language. On our second full day in Thailand, Ezra began teaching us. Our primary focus for this first month will be learning Thai during three hour lessons every day. This will be the basis for our ministry in the red light district, particularly for the girls since Ezra, Jeff, and I will be focusing our outreach toward the Western male tourists in those areas. Still, it will be an important resource for everyone on the team as we build relationships with our Thai neighbors and others with whom we will come in contact.
Concurrent with our language studies, we have been charged with teaching English in three different forums in partnership with a local church. The first is a Christian club at a local university and the students are current university students or recent graduates. The second is an outreach center near the Klong Toei slum and the students are children and young adults from the surrounding community. Both of these are weekly--Wednesday and Saturday--and have each had their first session over the last week. The third is a day camp for students and will take place over two weeks in mid October.
Gospel work among the poor has a distinctly romantic tone when you are sitting in a Boston cafe or a Dallas bar. Actually being here in Bangkok has muddied the water. The needs are enough to overwhelm the saintliest person and it is difficult to discern how one plays a part in God's sovereign will over a time as brief as four months, of which one sixteenth has already past. At these moments, the practice of knowing nothing but Christ and him crucified is paramount. That's where the work gets done, not individually, but as the sacred Body of Christ. This is why work done outside of Christ, however earnest, is essentially fruitless. It is, in fact, a double sin of tainted compassion and demonic presumption. Only as the gathered body of Christ can we do the work of the One who sent Him: redemption of the whole world, soul and body.
"Only a steel man came to recover...Only a real man can be a lover." - Sufjan Stevens
Prayer Requests:
--That I would be given the true gift of tongues. Thai is hard and I am embarrassed to use the little I know. Pray that I would work hard at learning it and be bold to use it.
--That we would be effective English teachers. Teaching English is also hard and I have no experience doing it. Pray that we, as a team, would work diligently at this task. It has the potential to develop important ministerial connections for Ezra and Hannah, who will continue working long after we're gone, and to establish a new, vital educational resource in one of Bangkok's poorest areas.
--That the Spirit would continue to pour love into my heart. I am, by nature, an uncompassionate wretch. But, in Christ, I can become a conduit for God's love. If I let my eyes stray for even a moment from the Cross and its call, I will fall flat. Pray for my fixed gaze.
The primary purpose to this past week has been discovery. Indeed, discovery of discovery, inasmuch as that is the phase in which Ezra and Hannah find themselves. They are searching for unique places God can use them. There are many parachurch organizations in Bangkok, but the needs here are legion and the ground is rocky. God has led our hosts to the red light districts, ministering among the bar girls and particularly to the families of immigrant beggers whose children are considered at risk to become entangled in the rampant prostitution industry. Ezra and Hannah have also been partnering with local churches in other areas of outreach.
As we learn about our hosts' ministry opportunities, we also have been immersed in studying the Thai language. On our second full day in Thailand, Ezra began teaching us. Our primary focus for this first month will be learning Thai during three hour lessons every day. This will be the basis for our ministry in the red light district, particularly for the girls since Ezra, Jeff, and I will be focusing our outreach toward the Western male tourists in those areas. Still, it will be an important resource for everyone on the team as we build relationships with our Thai neighbors and others with whom we will come in contact.
Concurrent with our language studies, we have been charged with teaching English in three different forums in partnership with a local church. The first is a Christian club at a local university and the students are current university students or recent graduates. The second is an outreach center near the Klong Toei slum and the students are children and young adults from the surrounding community. Both of these are weekly--Wednesday and Saturday--and have each had their first session over the last week. The third is a day camp for students and will take place over two weeks in mid October.
Gospel work among the poor has a distinctly romantic tone when you are sitting in a Boston cafe or a Dallas bar. Actually being here in Bangkok has muddied the water. The needs are enough to overwhelm the saintliest person and it is difficult to discern how one plays a part in God's sovereign will over a time as brief as four months, of which one sixteenth has already past. At these moments, the practice of knowing nothing but Christ and him crucified is paramount. That's where the work gets done, not individually, but as the sacred Body of Christ. This is why work done outside of Christ, however earnest, is essentially fruitless. It is, in fact, a double sin of tainted compassion and demonic presumption. Only as the gathered body of Christ can we do the work of the One who sent Him: redemption of the whole world, soul and body.
"Only a steel man came to recover...Only a real man can be a lover." - Sufjan Stevens
Prayer Requests:
--That I would be given the true gift of tongues. Thai is hard and I am embarrassed to use the little I know. Pray that I would work hard at learning it and be bold to use it.
--That we would be effective English teachers. Teaching English is also hard and I have no experience doing it. Pray that we, as a team, would work diligently at this task. It has the potential to develop important ministerial connections for Ezra and Hannah, who will continue working long after we're gone, and to establish a new, vital educational resource in one of Bangkok's poorest areas.
--That the Spirit would continue to pour love into my heart. I am, by nature, an uncompassionate wretch. But, in Christ, I can become a conduit for God's love. If I let my eyes stray for even a moment from the Cross and its call, I will fall flat. Pray for my fixed gaze.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Nomadic Ruminations
I am in Boston, just three and a half days from a flight to Bangkok and most people want to know whether or not I am excited. I cannot honestly answer that in neither the affirmative nor the negative. I have not any interest in accelerating myself toward Saturday nor am I tempted to tap the breaks. My expectations have been neutralized by a lack of specific information and the business of accomplishing remaining tasks. I am coasting and I am comfortable with that.
"The serious Christian, set down for the first time in a Christian community, is likely to bring with him a very definite idea of what Christian life together should be and to try to realize it. But God's grace speedily shatters such dreams." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together
It may seem fanciful to make much of a four month experience of close community, but one could say the same about the experience in its four month entirety. Why make anything of it at all? The reality is that this short mission's construction, inasmuch as I anticipate encountering depravity and captivity at a level about which I have heretofore been ignorant, is fairly grave. The same gravity extends to being jarringly bound together with other Christians in close quarters.
I have lived the past two years alone and have been thinking a lot about how this small community will operate practically. I suppose I entertain something of a monastic fantasy, because I like to picture myself as an austere, reverent, holy man. My psyche is really that warped. This rebuke of Bonhoeffer's serves as an important reminder to me that God's decreed will is holier than my sinfully flawed imagination. I do foresee us being daily joined together in prayer and sharing all that is essential about daily life: eating, working, resting. And I am looking forward to this, but beyond that, I have no vision, nor do I want to impose one.
"Christ was led by His love for others into the world, to forget himself in the needs of others...[This] means not that we should live one life, but a thousand lives - binding ourselves to a thousand souls by the filaments of so l oving a sympathy that their lives become ours." - B.B. Warfield
The above quote comes from a book by Tim Keller called Ministries of Mercy in a section titled "Imitating the Incarnation." Earlier last week, I was marveling at the fine line between a bankrupt liberation theology and a robustly orthodox incarnational theology. Both include an aim to work the restorative kingdom of God in and around the world's broken, oppressed communities, but only the latter has the faith to extend the victory to the soul.
Recently, I have been despairing about my lack of compassionate feelings, having the sense that my relationship to concepts such as compassion and mercy are purely academic or intellectual. Here I come to that craggy pit that presently consumes much of modern evangelicalism, that of the primacy of personal experience. Ultimately, it matters not a wit how merciful I feel. Christ is mercy. Christ is compassion. Christ is the good shepherd. Salvation belongs to Christ alone. Salvation is accomplished in Christ alone. Christ alone is my righteousness. So, when I despair of my fundamentally defective emotions, it should only give me cause to praise more my Lord in heaven with whom I have died, resurrected, and ascended; who stands at the throne, eternally holly mediator.
Prayer needs:
--That I would accomplish the few remaining tasks I have (malaria medication, quality footwear, required reading) in the next few days and without sinful worry.
--That God would bless me with firmer knowledge and vision of Christ's compassion.
--That God would guard me from sexual indiscretions while in Bangkok. I have heard too many stories in the past several weeks and I am loathe to be of the faithless who, Paul observes, did not "take heed" and thus fell. I and my fellow team members cannot afford to have any illusions about ourselves as holy people. We are, at our core, enemies of God saved by grace exhibiting a righteousness that is not our own.
"The serious Christian, set down for the first time in a Christian community, is likely to bring with him a very definite idea of what Christian life together should be and to try to realize it. But God's grace speedily shatters such dreams." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together
It may seem fanciful to make much of a four month experience of close community, but one could say the same about the experience in its four month entirety. Why make anything of it at all? The reality is that this short mission's construction, inasmuch as I anticipate encountering depravity and captivity at a level about which I have heretofore been ignorant, is fairly grave. The same gravity extends to being jarringly bound together with other Christians in close quarters.
I have lived the past two years alone and have been thinking a lot about how this small community will operate practically. I suppose I entertain something of a monastic fantasy, because I like to picture myself as an austere, reverent, holy man. My psyche is really that warped. This rebuke of Bonhoeffer's serves as an important reminder to me that God's decreed will is holier than my sinfully flawed imagination. I do foresee us being daily joined together in prayer and sharing all that is essential about daily life: eating, working, resting. And I am looking forward to this, but beyond that, I have no vision, nor do I want to impose one.
"Christ was led by His love for others into the world, to forget himself in the needs of others...[This] means not that we should live one life, but a thousand lives - binding ourselves to a thousand souls by the filaments of so l oving a sympathy that their lives become ours." - B.B. Warfield
The above quote comes from a book by Tim Keller called Ministries of Mercy in a section titled "Imitating the Incarnation." Earlier last week, I was marveling at the fine line between a bankrupt liberation theology and a robustly orthodox incarnational theology. Both include an aim to work the restorative kingdom of God in and around the world's broken, oppressed communities, but only the latter has the faith to extend the victory to the soul.
Recently, I have been despairing about my lack of compassionate feelings, having the sense that my relationship to concepts such as compassion and mercy are purely academic or intellectual. Here I come to that craggy pit that presently consumes much of modern evangelicalism, that of the primacy of personal experience. Ultimately, it matters not a wit how merciful I feel. Christ is mercy. Christ is compassion. Christ is the good shepherd. Salvation belongs to Christ alone. Salvation is accomplished in Christ alone. Christ alone is my righteousness. So, when I despair of my fundamentally defective emotions, it should only give me cause to praise more my Lord in heaven with whom I have died, resurrected, and ascended; who stands at the throne, eternally holly mediator.
Prayer needs:
--That I would accomplish the few remaining tasks I have (malaria medication, quality footwear, required reading) in the next few days and without sinful worry.
--That God would bless me with firmer knowledge and vision of Christ's compassion.
--That God would guard me from sexual indiscretions while in Bangkok. I have heard too many stories in the past several weeks and I am loathe to be of the faithless who, Paul observes, did not "take heed" and thus fell. I and my fellow team members cannot afford to have any illusions about ourselves as holy people. We are, at our core, enemies of God saved by grace exhibiting a righteousness that is not our own.
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